Steve Jobs had AIDS / HIV

  First of all, i'm not dead. I'm sorry, but I had a rough couple of weeks. I will slowly try to get back and answer everybody. Short post, as i have a TON of things going on right now.


  A couple days ago i stumbled accross this photo and i was debating whether it was OK or not cool to post it. 
Most of you probably saw it before. A little over a month, as everybody heard, Steve Jobs passed away after a long battle with cancer. Nothing new there. It looks like he was hiding something from us. Take a look: 

Proof Steve Jobs had AIDS

  Steve Jobs had fucking AIDS / HIV, and had it for a long time. Why was he hiding it, i don't really know. Under what circumstances he caught it, i don't know either. I'm not beating a dead guy, i'm not an Apple fan either, but the guy was a genius, that can't be argued. 

  Not much content, i know, but i thought it was worth sharing, Steve Jobs had AIDS for more than 7 years and i never heard a word of it. I'm pretty sure you will be as surprised as i was. So that's pretty much it. I won't go deeper into this, as the pic is pretty self explanatory. 


  Have a nice day, and remember to use condoms. See you soon.

Gaddafi is dead. Halloween costume idea of the year?

  So, it looks like Gaddafi is dead. He was shot in both legs and stomach while he was hiding in a hole, outside his hometown. According to the rebels, he was holding a gun made of gold when he was found. He was promptly shot and boom, he died on his way to the hospital. End of story. Gaddafi is dead. Ha Ha, in your face sucka.

  Gaddafi is dead, but Zombie Gaddafi is born, and we all know that October 31st is around the corner and it's time to start thinking for Halloween costumes. What about zombie Gaddafi? It's the hottest halloween costume in town, and probably in Africa too. Grab yours, they won't last long. Go to the store and ask for the Zombie Gaddafi Halloween Costume, and if they give you a funny look, like whaaaat? N**ga you crazy. You tell them, listen bitch, I have the right to dress any way I want. 

  It's not like you are dressing like that molester called Pee Wee Herman. I wouldn't trust my kids to that freak, just look him. I'm fuckin Zombie Gaddafi. And if the store doesn't have that, well just start making em yourself and build a Halloween Costume emporio.

  
What's the hottest halloween costume idea of 2011?

Let's talk about meth heads.

  Let's talk about meth heads. I will show you a brief list with Pros and Cons about them.

Pros
- Meth heads are skinny. You will never see an obese one.
- They have scientific interests like chemistry, which is always a plus.
- They look like zombies, which is awesome. Also, they don't need a costume for Halloween.
- You can make em do all sorts of funny stuff for very little cash, which makes them a great source of entertainment.
- They have cool hairstyles and even cooler beards.
- Meth heads are sneaky and highly motivated.
- Meth heads tell very very funny jokes. Or that's what i've been told.
- They are pretty good at juggling.
- They can run faster than Usain Bolt.
- They are used to deal with raccoons because they frequently sleep in trashcans.

Cons
- They will break into your car and steal your stereo.
- They will break into your house and steal parts of your fridge.
- Meth heads die fast.
- They are always scratching.
- They have a rotten mouth which is disgusting.
- They scractch all the time and end up looking like sh*t.
- They will sell their asses for 15$.
- They are pretty much zombies.
- Your crotch is probably very hairy.
- Meth heads can't breakdance.
- You end up broke and in jail, where you probably get shanked.
- People will try to shoot you, and you probably deserve it.

  So yeah, you probably shouldn't do meth. It will mess you up pretty bad. If by chance you are a meth head (which i don't think you are, because you would already have sold your computer) here are some meth rehab numbers and sites you should check. Seek help. (I'm a good plumber on a public service announcement, see?)


http://www.methrehab.com/
http://www.drugandalcoholrehab.net/methamphetamine.htm
http://www.methabuse.net/
http://www.methamphetamine-addiction.net/


  Go there, leave meth,  maybe become an alcoholic, it's up to you. Unless you like the idea of being a zombie and get shot by a zombie slayer. I like to wrench whip meth heads, i don't think you want to be wrench whipped by me, do you?

Cyclopean Shark found in the Gulf of California.

  A mexican fisherman has discovered what seems to be a shark with a single eye. The albino ‘cyclops’ fetus was cut from the belly of a pregnant bull shark caught in the Gulf of California this summer. The one-eyed shark has achieved cult status since Pisces Fleet Sportfishing published pictures of it in July, giving rise to rumours of Photoshopping or other hoaxes. 

  But shark researchers who have examined the creature say it is legit, although it wouldn't have survived after birth. Shark expert Felipe Galvan Magana, of Mexico’s Centro Interdisciplinario de Ciencias del Mar, said: 

‘This is very rare. As far as I know, less than 50 examples of an abnormality like this have been recorded.’

In 2005 a cat was born with only one eye and no nose, caused a similar online stir. 

The fella, became known as Cy (short for Cyclops) and died within a day. 

 

  So, there is not much to say. The photos speak for themselves. It's a f**king cyclops. Like that guy from the X-Men, that shoot laser beam from his eyes. Except this little shark couldn't shoot sh*t. To make things worse, he was an albino like Edgar Winter. Talk about bad luck. So yeah, i feel sorry for Cy and the other deformity aka albino cyclops shark. Today's article wasn't funny at all, i know. But i felt it was noteworthy.  Here is a photo of Edgar Winter in compensation.

  I rate this as 0% Kosher. It's pretty much the definition of anti-kosher. So keep that in mind, if you wanna be friends with me, don't eat one eyed animals (avoid penises jokes please hahaha)

Ha! I knew it! Someone googled my life guide.

  Ok, short post. I thought it would be funny to share some of the weirdest google searches that for some reason, ended up visiting my blog. 

  
  Yes, you read it right:


- Children with rabies picture 


- How to be a pimp 


- Congratulations you're a hoe


- People dressed up like bowser from original mario brothers.  


  Bwhahaahahahahahahahaha especially at the last one. That's crazy. I never thought that would happen. I am kinda curious if the guy that read my Life Guide #2, liked it or not. Perhaps he is already honing his pimpin skills. Who knows?


  Anyway, don't forget to read my weekly recap. Hope you had a laugh too.